How to become (more) successful
What do you think of when you think of a successful person? What does success mean to you? In this blog post I will share my personal thoughts about success.
Being successful isn’t about the amount of followers you have, nor about how much money you make. It’s about if you’re happy with your life.
For a long time I thought the amount of money and followers would mean how successful I was. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When I hit rock bottom, lost the love of my life, with no roof above my head, no money or friends, I realised it was me that needed to change. I had to learn to be happy with who I was. Rely on myself instead of relying on a career, or the worry whether people liked me.
I became ‘successful’ the day I realised I was enough. I started growing as a person. And from that moment my career took off as well. That’s no coincidence.
The need to become ‘famous’
People that are struggling with themselves and don’t love themselves seek approval of others. Of friends and family but also of strangers.
Being famous isn’t a goal, it’s just trying to fill that empty hole in your heart. Instead, try to understand why you’re seeking approval of others, because there always is a reason.
When you start appreciating yourself, the need to get approval of others will dissolve.
Making different choices
Often I hear people making excuses to why they don’t do what they truly love. I’m not talking about valid limitations, because it’s a fact we don’t all have the same privileges. I’m talking about choosing to buy a bigger house when you don’t need it and putting yourself more in debt so you don’t have money to follow an art class.
Sometimes people forget that they made those kind of choices themselves.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”– Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter)
Surround yourself with people that appreciate you for who you are.
I have become more guarded towards people and sometimes I am sad about that. It’s because I’ve been hurt a couple of times by people. They told me they were my friend but actually they didn’t really care for me. Some used me as a stepping stone, some dropped me when something better came along.
But I also learned what kind of people I can trust. True friends are forgiving. They will understand when you explain how you feel. They will be there for you when you need them, and you will unconditionally have their backs too.
My best friends are the ones I can not speak to for six months and still everything is the way it’s always been, it’s the people that understand my job is my life, the ones I can be myself with without pretending I’m someone I’m not. And that’s the people you need. To me, a true friendship is real success.
To end this blog post, I leave you with this comic below.
All text and images © Marloes De Vries
I know the feeling of being guarded and protecting a little bit of privacy when you already show so much of yourself online, through your work. I’ve also noticed that the ‘good’ ones will stick around though 🙂 so that is something nice ♥
This is so uplifting! Thank you for this post and all of the simple thoughts. It’s the essence.
I love your blog post Marlous, and your illustration. I learned something called, ‘healthy distrust’ – gezond wantrouwen. How it feels, for kind people, is that they do something which feels unnatural, but you are acually doing yourself a favour. If people really like you and are trustworthy, they will understand and go the extra mile. Kind regards, Nicole
You have spoken straight to my heart!! I turn 60 on 5 october, and have let discouragement become my friend..
I believe with all my heart that, at the core of our existence there is that cross road signposted ‘CHOICES’…I have counselled many about that…but have forgotten to encourage myself to take a fast train in the opposite direction of self-recrimination, self-doubt and the biggie, ‘self-pity’!
Thank you for having the wisdom and vulnerability to express yourself in this blog!! Helped me hundreds!!
Marloes, you spoke to my heart! Thank you for sharing in words I could not .
Marloes you are spot on! Thank you!
Surrounding yourself with positive people is how to be successful. Many people will get jealous of your success and try to bring you down with their negativity